This past week I got to deal with my least favorite group of people: the haters. The haters are the people who give you negative feedback about your services.
In my case my haters came from two emails I sent out. I sent out an email on Monday announcing my new blog post for the week. I then sent out an email on Tuesday announcing my new webinar. Apparently I annoyed a few people on my list with the back-to-back emails. So they let me know. Fair enough.
Then on Tuesday I got an email from a real estate agent who is a coaching client of mine. He got an email on Monday from a client. This client was disappointed in the service he felt he received. The email was filled with unrealistic expectations and untruthful things. He wanted out of the contract with my client but didn’t have a valid reason. Another hater.
On Thursday I had my weekly meeting with my mastermind group. A colleague of mine gave a presentation on sales to a networking group. Out of 22 people he had two people tell him they didn’t like part of his presentation. More haters.
These three situations got me thinking. First it made me not feel so alone! Those of us in the service field are going to have people who don’t like what we do. Sometimes these people are rather blunt about it with their comments. No one is perfect and no one is immune to it.
Second interacting with haters is hard on the old self-esteem. The negative comments bruise the ego and can cause second guessing. If we’re not careful it can cause a negative spiral of emotions. In fact it could even put you in a funk.
When you put yourself out there whether it’s in sales, as an agent, or as a business owner you are going to have haters. It’s how you deal with them that matters. It’s how you let them affect you that matters the most.
1. Acknowledge it
Getting negative feedback from people hurts no matter who you are. When you put all of yourself into a business and someone gives you negative feedback it stings. Acknowledge to yourself that the criticism does hurt. Trying to ignore it only makes you dwell on it more.
2. Take a break
If the criticism is especially hurtful take a break from your work. Read a book, take a walk or go have lunch with a friend. Walk away from your business for a few hours or even just a few minutes to get some perspective when you get back at it. If you sit there and dwell on the criticism it will take on a life of it’s own. One comment will become bigger than it really was and that is hard to detach from.
3. Look at testimonials
Looking at my testimonials is my favorite thing to do when I get down. The testimonials are a great reminder that what I am doing matters. That I am helping people and making a difference in their lives.
When you get negative feedback take a look your testimonials from past clients. Remind yourself that the opinion of one or two haters does not match up with the majority. Most people think you are great and you have proof of that!
4. Consider the source
Did the negative comments come from someone who likes to complain? Did the negative comments come from a client that finds fault in everything? Then take the criticism with a grain of salt. There are people who you work with that are never going to be happy with what you do. They are the people who are just never happy period. If the negative feedback came from a negative Nelly then don’t get too worked up about it. Some people are jealous or insecure around positive, successful people. Don’t let that kind of negative energy get to you.
5. Evaluate the comment
Once you have gone through the first four steps evaluate the negative feedback. Now that you have processed your emotions around it you can look at it through rational eyes. Is there some truth to the criticism you received. Could you have done something better, something different? If the answer is yes then makes some changes in your business. But again don’t dwell on the negative comments. Evaluate them for what they are and then move on.
6. Get Trusted Feedback
If you find that the comments are still bugging you get feedback from those you trust. That might be your spouse or your broker or a good friend. I know that when I get feedback like this I check in with three sources. My husband (and business partner), my best friend and my mastermind group. These people know me and they know my intentions in my business and life. They can tell me if I was a jerk or if I need to do something differently. They can also tell me if the hater is just that– a hater. We weren’t meant to exist in a vacuum. Lean on your support system when you get negative feedback. They are the ones who will help you stay grounded and see what’s real and what’s not.
7. Move Forward
Once you have gone through all these steps it is time to move on and move forward. When you work in a field where you are putting yourself out there negative feedback will happen. There are going to be people who don’t like you. That’s okay you want to know why? Do you really want to work with people like that? Do you want to work with people who can find fault in anything you do? I know I sure don’t!
As a real estate agent or business owner you are doing something not everyone can do. You are putting yourself out there. Remember why you got into the real estate business. It is to help people with real estate. To take care of their needs. Focus on helping those people and move forward!
Oh and by the way, if you are on my email list you will get emails from me. That’s how an email list works! 😉
How do you deal with negative feedback? Do you ignore it or does it get to you? Please share your thoughts with me in the comments below. Thank you for commenting!